And the award for most ridiculous salesperson goes to…

Thursday, 15 May 2014

This guy, hands down. But points for spelling my name right at least.

Eaten by alligators or just plain swamped?

Hi Alison,

I’ve attempted to reach you, but I’ve had no success. Either you’ve been eaten by alligators or you’re just plain swamped!
If you have been eaten by alligators, my deepest sympathy goes out to your family members. Or one of the following is more likely to have happened. I hate to keep pestering you, but I’d like to express my desire to chat with you about advocate marketing. Please pick one response and let me know what our next step should be.
____ Yes, I’ve been eaten by alligators. Please send flowers.
____ No, I haven’t been eaten by alligators, but you may wish I had been, because I have decided I have no interest in <redacted>. Sorry, you’re sunk.
____ Yes, I have some interest, but here are my challenges:
____ Yes, I have some interest. Let’s get together. Here are a few times I have for an intro call:
____ You really need to be sending these emails to: ________________
____ Other:

Greatly appreciated!

<name redacted to protect the guilty>

First of all, this is the cheesiest email I’ve ever received. Second, it’s not even original cheese! He completely stole it. And finally, his previous correspondence didn’t offer any reason to get in touch with him or ask for a follow up. Not to mention that the funny tone he was striving for left me annoyed and more confused than before.

Sales is tough. I get it. But when you have to resort to misleading subject lines (“quick question for you..” ring a bell for anyone?) or lame jokes, you might want to rethink your strategy.

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